Day 1_Not Always What It Seems

These navigational steps are about getting out of survival mode and learning how to live a normal life with normal expectations around normal people. Yeah, for those of us who haven't had much of it, normal is what we crave.

Speaking of survival mode. It's a funny thing.

Decisions have to be made quickly and acted upon decisively when you sense danger.

But that same mindset can cause trouble when you're out of that situation but acting like you're still in it.

Conflict is going to happen. But it doesn't mean disaster if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, work environment or living situation.

However, if drama is all you've ever known up to this point, then how do you stop reacting to triggers? How can you stop reacting as if ALL conflict were a matter of "fight or flight"?

How much can you relate to any of this?

Is it possible that you don't yet realize your circumstances have changed to the extent that you no longer need the survival tools that used to make you feel safe and in control?

You know the tools we're talking about:
*being cocky
*making snap decisions about people
*self protection
*mistrust

Maybe that's not exactly you. Maybe it's more like:
*shrinking back when confronted by loud noises or booming voices
*trying to blend in to the crowd or trying to be invisible to feel safe
*self protection
*mistrust

Do any of these behaviors describe your typical reactions? If so, which ones?

How would your friends, classmates, boss, teachers, coaches or relatives answer that question about you?

Take a deep breath. Exhale and answer as honestly as you can.

'Perception vs. Reality' was developed to help people tell the difference between what's real and what isn't, especially if they're no longer in danger but often feel threatened.

Think of it this way. If you relate to any of this, and you're out of the situation that made you adapt, then you can relax now and take steps to adjust to your new life.

As you adjust, you may become aware that your past created land mines that may be triggered when you're stressed, making your emotions go haywire. This often blows things out of proportion. In other words, your perception is off.

How often does this happen to you?

'Crash' is an Academy-award winning film that shows what misperceptions cost other people.

The movie demonstrates how easy it is to act very badly when the truth about people is misinterpreted and assumptions are made that aren't true.

We're about to show you two scenes from that movie.

In the first, a father gives his young daughter an invisible cloak to protect her from danger.

* Spoiler Alert.

In the second clip, the same father is falsely accused of not repairing a shop door which resulted in his customer's store being vandalized.

The accuser is a man who's had others assume false things about him, and he was treated badly as a result. When somebody stepped on his last nerve, this normally kind, decent, law-abiding man was mad and out for revenge...taking it out on an innocent man.

Head up to the video icon to see the clips. Let us know how the message landed with you when you've finished.

As the characters from 'Crash' learned, it's vital to slow down and gain perspective before taking action.

That may seem impossible now, but stick with these steps. Follow them day by day until you've mastered the ability to discern what's fact and what's fiction.

How motivated are you to do this series?

That's enough for today. That was a lot to take in at one time.

Go do something nice for yourself, especially if you need to shake off any uncomfortable memories. You may have been through quite a lot, so give yourself time to make changes. It's a process.

How do you feel about it so far?

Before you exit, you need to be aware that 'Perception' runs straight through 21 days with no breaks for weekends or holidays.

If you post to Publisher at the bottom of the page, check your message icon above for responses.

You can do the steps on your own.

However, if you'd like to join others doing these navitents, then feel welcome to join JP's Next Step Campfire (local teens and young adults on the same path as you), Campsite (national group of your peers) and/or Campground (international).

Post your email address in the last open space on the page. Let us know what city and state you live in and if you want to be placed in the same group as someone you know.

You'll receive an invite from navitent.com. Click the link. You're in.

If you're reading this from another site, then you'll have to sign in and create an account to be able to post comments and save your responses.

Are you in?

If so, we'll see you tomorrow!