Day 8_Trust the Process

Welcome back! Let's begin today's steps with a little problem solving.

You know those conversations that come up that you'd rather not have?
They're the ones that make you feel uneasy like you've done something wrong and are about to be called out.

Okay, maybe you did the thing, maybe you didn't.

The point is would you like to gain more confidence about these kind of interactions?

There's something really important about just talking things out.

In a healthy relationship, no two people are going to feel the same about every subject or challenge they face. Sometimes misunderstandings happen. That's okay.

It's hanging in there with each other as we talk it through that we begin to value each other. We learn what we can expect from each other. This is how trust grows.

That's why it's important to become confident that conflict isn't a bad thing as long as it's done with a sensitivity to the fact that both of you feel vulnerable.

Nobody likes conflict, and nobody wants to get hurt. This isn't about your past, so leave it at the door. This is about your present.

Do you want to discover how to do this well?

To feel more confident about having awkward conversations, you have to understand your weak spots.

You're no different than any of us. We've all got them.

Now let's find them. Then we're going to focus on how to gain confidence in overcoming them.

Are you still with us?

Read and assess how you are in doing the following. Be as honest as you can. No judgement here.

The key is to know where you struggle and be open to admitting it. That alone removes pressure.

Write the #1-10 in the space provided and answer yes or no to the corresponding question.

1- I often use “I feel” statements so others don't feel blamed.
2- I'm frequently fair and kind to others even when I feel stressed because we disagree.
3- More often than not, I show compassion and am willing to talk it out when I feel slighted.
4- I'm honest, and more often than not am respectful, when talking about my side during a conversation where I feel awkward.
5- I tend to patiently give people the chance to express their opinions and viewpoints, especially if the conversation is one where they appear to feel vulnerable.
6- In a normal situation, I care more about the friendship or relationship than in being right.
7- I have a sense of humor and don't use it to mock or offend others.
8- I tend to be real (vulnerable) with others.
9- I am often patient in working with the other person to find a solution to our problem.
10- I am almost always dependable and follow through with what we agreed upon during our conversation.

List the number corresponding to the statement or statements where you answered 'no'.

Regarding the statements where you said, 'no', do you want to know how to change your 'no' to a 'yes'?

Recall a conversation you had recently that went off the rails.

Did you do one of the things above that was a 'no'?

What was it?

We hear ya. Sigh....been there...

If you could have a do-over, describe what you'd do differently.

As you answer, you'll want to focus on what it will take to change your 'no' from above to a 'yes'.

Go practice the change in at least one interaction during the next 24 hours where things start feeling a little tense.

It might feel awkward at first. Trust the process. Any change can feel a little weird in the beginning, but the difference you begin to feel inside should make it feel natural very quickly.

Jump up to the video icon for some inspiration by Trent Shelton, 'Trust the Process'. The first 5 minutes is all it takes. No need to join anything. Let us know how the message landed with you when you've finished.

Enjoy the rest of your day. Looking forward to engaging with you again tomorrow!